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DEAR ABBY: I’ve a chum who complains time and again about the similar factor. I’ve given her recommendation or even helped her with contacts to permit her to transport in order that she’s out of her abusive dating. She at all times responds, “Sure, I want to do one thing,” however by no means does.

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She continues to permit her part-time partner to go back to her house and resume his abusive, drunken behaviour. I’ve reached the purpose the place I will’t proceed to assist or be offering possible answers as a result of she received’t do the rest to fortify her scenario. She reaches out to me simplest to whinge about her scenario.

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Our friendship may be very a lot a one-sided factor. That she hasn’t ever simply referred to as me to mention hi and inquire how I’m doing is disheartening. What else can I do? I will lead her to water, however I will’t make her drink it! I’m so unhappy that she doesn’t see her personal price and what she’s deserving of. — IT’S INSANITY IN NEVADA

DEAR ‘INSANITY’: Get up to the truth that this girl is the use of you to vent, not anything extra. She’s now not to your recommendation. She doesn’t acknowledge her personal price as it was once both eroded when she was once rising up or by means of the inebriated abuser she married. You want to spice up her ego to the highest of Mount Everest nevertheless it wouldn’t closing as a result of she has no core of self-respect.

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You already know this friendship isn’t reciprocal. Except it brings you some form of psychic gratification, ask your self why you might be spending such a lot time nurturing it. Assemble an inventory of sources she will be able to use if her scenario turns into unhealthy however, past that, waste not more time looking to “repair” her.

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DEAR ABBY: My brother and I had been very shut whilst rising up. But if he were given into medicine as a young person, he began doing issues I may now not enhance, so we drifted aside. I by no means sought after to consider that he would do me hurt, however I’ve after all needed to admit to myself that he’s the one that stole my valuable, irreplaceable jewellery and offered it for drug cash.

He has been in restoration for just about 30 years and has apologized to everybody — with the exception of me. He would possibly not be mindful, or would possibly not need to bear in mind, how deeply he harm me. How do I proceed to look him at circle of relatives gatherings once I’m so disgusted with him that I received’t talk to him? It’s now not an issue of taking him apart and telling him this; he would simply assault. Will have to I simply prevent going to circle of relatives gatherings? — SADDENED SISTER IN CANADA

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DEAR SISTER: Your brother will have been in restoration for the closing 30 years, however the behaviour you describe isn’t that of a neatly guy. Please don’t reduce your self off from the circle of relatives gatherings, and withstand the urge to confront him, which you recognize received’t convey you the pleasure you wish to have or finish neatly. Stay your distance, occupy your self with the family with whom you might be shut, be well mannered and forget about him up to you’ll.

— Pricey Abby is written by means of Abigail Van Buren, often referred to as Jeanne Phillips, and was once based by means of her mom, Pauline Phillips. Touch Pricey Abby at DearAbby.com or P.O. Field 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.

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